Screaming & Silent

Update:

2011-10-04T22:35:00.000-05:00

The new, new blog is www.diaryofthesinglebitch.blogspot.com...Sorry I keep changing urls! I think I'll keep this one a while tho!

drumroll

2010-01-11T14:57:00.001-06:00

I'm gone ya'll!

The new blog is www.aninternetaffair.blogspot.com!

Screaming and Silent wont be erased, it'll still be here until Blogger kicks it to the curb but there won't be any more updates. 826 posts! It's been a long wild ride. About a year and a half of my life has been here and I'll miss it dearly but I needed a new direction.

So yeah....www.aninternetaffair.blogspot.com...see ya'll there!

*muah*

Truth:

2010-01-06T21:22:00.002-06:00

I hate doing shyt half-assed. And seeing that I can't find a decent template, the blog is on hold...However I'm debating just making a damn template myself...argh...

Game Plan:

2010-01-01T23:39:00.000-06:00

So, I'm taking this here blog in a whole new 'nother direction.

o_O

I knoooow I've said that 50 billion times but this time I'm for real!

Honesty: I have another blog.

I've had it for a while now even though it only has 3 posts, lol. But there, on the "other" blog is where I'll be spilling my guts from now on, in the event that there are guts to spill. I mean, there've been emotional ups and downs on here, woo woo woo, I appreciate all the love, support, and understanding, but I'm packing up my major issues and taking them elsewhere, somewhere private, somewhere where I can sort things out myself and the only person who can judge me is me (oh and the big e-omnipotent Google eye in the sky).

So with that said, say goodbye to Shethinksthoughts/Screaming&Silent...She's been a good friend to many.

I'll be undergoing a name change, a makeover, and IDK wtf I'm gonna do with these 800+ posts...I'll probably just leave em where they are. I love going back and reading (plus, it helps me remember stuff!). So less bitching and moaning, more of...well damn...I'm not sure what there'll be more of but how about we play it by ear ;-)

I could be my first and greatest success story...

2010-01-01T23:20:00.000-06:00

Ok, I'm super late! I couldn't figure out how to upload video with this new-fangled editor earlier today so I just had to improvise.

Consistency...

2009-12-30T02:02:00.001-06:00

I have much more respect (and tolerance) for the person who has cussed me out every Wednesday at 2 o'clock on the dot since day one than I have for the person who's all fine and dandy for a year and a half then all of a sudden decides they wanna flip out.

If I've come to know you to be one way, then that's all I know how to respond to because I've been led to believe that was the "real" you. Now if you choose to wait and reveal some new side of you and I discover that I don't know who this new person is and don't really care to have much to do with them is it my fault for taking a few steps back or your fault for withholding who you really are?

I'm just sayin...

Ummm...

2009-12-25T02:46:00.000-06:00

Ok, so according to the Info supplied by Comcast cable the movie A Christmas Story is set in the 1940's but the clothing and architecture and furniture and everything isn't looking very historically accurate...I'm just sayin...

Dorian-0 Rain-1

2009-12-25T01:10:00.000-06:00

I look like I have an effin mullet.
Oh em gee, the rain fucked my ass up.
Thought I was all cute and shyt drivin stepmom's red convertible doin Christmas shopping and shyt.
Thought I was being smart, had on a bonnet under my black sequin beanie from H&M but the rain said "Hell naw hoe"
I take off my dampened beanie and bonnet and there's a big ass poofie puff in the back of my head. The whole top layer of my hair is frizzy as hell but the under-layers are still decent...
So it looks like I got the mullet from hell...And I'm just really not pleased.

PS-So I stopped at Zaxby's for lunch and got some buffalo wings...but I had to eat them on the run...So I pull up at a stoplight in Stepmom's car. Looking good. I look to my right and there's a cutie looking right back at me as I'm tearing a drumstick the eff UP!...#tragic

Anywho, bringing some major changes 'round here! Yeehaw!

Oh yeah... Merry Christmas!

I think I'm gonna zap back to last year...this time...I was probably blogging about how slaw Christmas was...or my drunk Uncle who, by the way, was sober this year! Way to go Unc!

All I want

2009-12-23T14:01:00.001-06:00

is for guys to know how to approach a girl.

How to make your attraction obvious without being too strong, too vulgar, too annyoing.
How to take a hint and back the eff off or how to take a hint and slide a little closer.
How to tell when the time is completely right, completely wrong, or just slightly off.
How to tell when all is lost or when there's still a chance.

There's no manual to it but most girls, especially myself, try to give hints. Hints that, if comprehended, can save a lot of wasted time, energy, confusion, embarrassment, and foolishness...

Besides, if all else fails, just ASK! Discretely, sincerely, appropriately, and we'll, well I'll let you know!

Is it that too much to ask for?

So juvenile...

2009-12-21T20:42:00.000-06:00

Don't you hate it when you like a boy and you don't wanna come on too strong or woresome so you find yourself looking for legitimate reasons to shoot them a text...all because you kinda miss their convo...

I feel like I'm back in high school...

lol

Question.

2009-12-15T13:39:00.000-06:00

So we just walk up into other peoples' rooms now...to ask dumb ass questions? Really? REALLY?

Thinking & Driving

2009-12-11T13:21:00.000-06:00

"Just because she walks with her head held high and her back straight doesn't mean that she still doesn't have the weight of the world on her shoulders."

And for the most part, things had been going so good...
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Personal Space:

2009-12-10T03:08:00.002-06:00

I need it.
You're in it.

-mgmt

Real Talk

2009-12-08T04:45:00.001-06:00

As much as I hate to admit it, sometimes, I need my ass sat down and shut up.

Thanks God, for putting me in check.

Frazzled

2009-12-08T04:14:00.000-06:00

I'm supposed to be writing this paper but what better time to blog?!

So yeah, life right now is foggy. Mentally, literally. Everything. I'm walking in a constant fog. My mind is everywhere except where I need to be currently.

Mostly, my mind is in the future. And I really really really really see the future being in Seattle. Like really. I dont see it in a classroom. I dont see it behind a desk in a cubicle. I don't see it scraping money to get by. I see it being comfortable financially, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually.

The hardest part, however, is figuring out how to make my words my reality.

It's almost damn near official, music education will NOT be my career. I hate that I've come this far just to lose my drive but in actuality, I think the main reason I did it is because of the challenge...To come in knowing nothing and to surpass many ppl who've been doing this since they could walk and talk says a lot. But at the end of the day, it's not fulfilling. Am I still gonna teach? Damn right I am. But will I always teach. No.

In other news, I wanna send a shoutout to a good friend. Despite how we fell off in such a short amount of time, I'm extremely proud. Extremely. You got guts kid. You did the right thing and you got your reward. You deserve it.

As for me, IDK. I really DK. It's something that I'll just have to give serious thought to. I figure if it's meant to be it will be. No rushing. No stressing.

And on a related note: Grad School. Ugh...not really even sure if it's for me. I love to learn but I hate school. So yeah, yet another thing to add to my prayer list.

Hmmm, what next, I guess we'll speak on relationships and whatnot, lol: Not really sure if I have much to say about this topic. As always, I just do me. Talking to a good friend made me realize how old fashioned/stuck in my ways I kind of am, but then again, when you've been taught a certain thing, and trained in a certain way, can you be expected to just up and change how you operate? I mean, of course if someone comes along that deems themself worthy of me making a compromise with then that could be worked out however, in poker do you just up and reveal your hand to the first player that flashes you a smile? No.

Which brings me to another point: Controversy. Apparently, lately, I've been involved in a lot of, well, mess. And foolishness. Realistically I can remove myself however, in me not being a coward or a slacker I've resolved to just turning my head the other way for the most part and just "grinning and bearing" it all. In the midst of all my grinning however, people have somehow gotten the impression that I'm boo-boo the fool. and I'm not. I'm Dori-Fuckin-Tee. Lol. So people don't really understand why I snap, and/or "get wrong" with them. They were under the impression that we were cool and whatnot. To an extent, I hate being fake. However, with some people, in some situations, certain people and things aren't worthy of a real emotional response. And it takes soooo much more energy to mean mug somebody all day long than to just "Hey girl. How are you. *crack a joke* Hahahaha, blah blah blah." I'm a funny person. I can tell a joke to a wall. Don't feel special. And also don't feel hurt when you realize that you're not a person of much value in my life. That sounds harsh. Really harsh. Especially harsh after re-reading it but honestly, I've learned that too much time in life is spent expending energy on things and people that don't matter. Nowhere in the Bible or any "Life Handbook" does it say that we as humans are obligated to like every man/woman/boy/girl/thing/animal whatever. I'll respect you; well, respect your life and you as a human being with feelings and whatnot, and I'll even love you. But "like" is reserved. This whole paragraph has been jumble of instances and emotions and situations of late but I think my point got across...

What else can I blog about? Wow, i feel like I'm catching up with a friend I haven't spoken to in years.

Overall, my life isn't in shambles. Lately, I've been living more off of thoughts and dreams instead of being in the moment and focusing on what is reality and/or how to make my thoughts and dreams a reality. I think that's where my the absence of my blog is felt the most. I have no true outlet for everything that's on my mind and in my heart.

The only thing that's really been keeping me smiling daily, is surrounding myself with people who keep me laughing and smiling. One of the things that I've come to realize is a necessity in life. In my life. And should be one in yours too. I remember my blog post last year, almost around this time I believe, where I reflected on how my circle of friends changes every year, and truly, from this time last year to now, it's taken a change. Simply because of people growing in their different directions, becoming busy with different things, drawing closer to other new people. I realize, it's natural. It's not a bad thing. It's how life should be. I have soooo many memories. Soooo many things I look back on and laugh about, cry about, regret, lol...but yeah... I feel like I'm writing a New Years blog reflecting on life and ish. This time next year, who know where I'll be, who I'll be with. I sure as hell know I'll be graduating, lol.
But ummm, life is like a roller coaster for me, literally. I hate em. When I'm looking at them from afar, they scare the shyt out of me, taking in all the loops and dips. But once I'm actually on it, it's not so bad. Cussing, crying, laughing, closing my eyes, taking each turn one at a time, realizing at the end that I'm ok. Everything is fine. My feet are on the ground again.
right now, I think I'm going heading into a loop with my eyes closed, but I'll be fine. I promise. I'll be fine.

Blogger, I've missed you. thanks for listening.

Now, let's get on this paper. My first all-nighter of the year!!! Lol. I'm getting old!

No sun.

2009-12-07T16:24:00.000-06:00

I think my thoughts have turned against me.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Yeah,

2009-12-03T01:04:00.002-06:00

I'll just keep my mouth shut...

Damn

2009-11-30T07:09:00.001-06:00

I hate crying.
And the harder you try to hold back the tears, the harder they come.

This has been one of the roughest mornings in my 21 years. I just want the sun to come out. Even if only for a second. No; I want it to come out and stay. I demand it. I deserve it.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

2009-11-30T05:43:00.001-06:00

From now on nobody needs to touch shit in my car. I coulda fuckin diied. I've never been more genuinely fearful for my life. Soryy for the cussin but I thank God for being with me. Eff grammar. Eff syntax. Eff all of that.
Just continue to watch over me God.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

The more I live, the more I realize:

2009-11-28T13:21:00.000-06:00

The key to a good life is surrounding yourself with people with extraordinary senses of humor.

Thank you to all that have ever put a smile on my face and joy in my heart.

I'm not used to this!

2009-11-28T02:35:00.001-06:00

It's either win or lose. This in between shyt aint for me.

Fuck you.

If I had a quarter for every time I've thought, typed, or mumbled that under my breath to you I'd be rich enough to buy Australia.

Fuck you.

Just in case the first time caught you off guard.

It's 2009

2009-11-26T22:11:00.000-06:00

almost 2010....

STOP wearing your feelings on your sleeve!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I try to avoid conflict so for the sake of our relationship, I try to correct any misunderstandings but I'm really about to stop giving a damn.

Draw your own conclusions. I'm about to put my pencil down...

Relief

2009-11-26T01:33:00.000-06:00

Mommy's finally sleeping peacefully and I feel a weight lifted. She needed me today. And I almost didn't realize it, but I'm glad I'm here...

*Sigh*

Hmmm, now, the question is, do I feel like updating Blogger on my life right now?

Maybe in a bit. Or maybe tomorrow...

Changes are coming ppl...

Soooo...

2009-11-22T01:15:00.000-06:00

I'm on Facebook and apparently my ex is about to be a father in a couple weeks...

Truthfully, I'm shocked. Didn't know he had it in em cuz the one time we tried, the mothereffer couldnt get the soldier to stand at attention! Oh well, glad to see things are on the "up and up" for him...

ahahahaha....I crack myself up...I need to be sleep! Got an early morning tomorrow with a long ass day to follow...

P.S.-Last night =Pure comedy. I love my Pham. Real talk. Even though my bones almost got jumped...A couple more cups of that blue shyt and I woulda been a victim!

=) All smiles. Life is good. Got over all of the major hurdles of the semester and I'm on cloud-fuckin-9!

Love, Peace, and "I got a big *ah-ah-ahem* DoriTee-go!"

Oh and "I got a coupon for that!"

"Progress"

2009-11-16T02:05:00.000-06:00

For every step I take forward I take 5 steps back.

And yet the farther back I go, the better I feel. Well, at least until I begin internally beating myself up over it once again.

Maybe I'm scared to let go because I really can't remember how life was without it.

Maybe I can't let go because I'm not supposed to.

Whatever the case may be, here I am again. Willfully renegging on everything I promised to myself. Praying that tomorrow I can take 1 step forward with only 4 back, then the next day with only 3 back, and the next with only 2 back, then 1 back then finally, one day, I can walk without faltering and not feel a thing.

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Yesterday was

2009-11-14T13:45:00.000-06:00

Mentally and emotionally a very rough day but I did something that I've never done before.

I read my Bible, reflected on my day, and wrote down how I felt and honestly, that was the best 6 hours of sleep I've ever gotten in my life.

I need to do more of that.

Random, I need to take a sowing class. Yep. It's a must.

AND I need to start preparing for life after college. A year from now, I'll be less than a month from graduation...

But I'll cross that bridge when I'm closer to getting there. For now, let's clean this room/clean my life.

Love, Peace, & Proverbs 29:11.

I might not be able to bring you up

2009-11-13T21:07:00.001-06:00

But I sure as hell won't let u bring me down.

Maybe I need to fly solo for a while until I find a flock that's more where I am...
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Just

2009-11-13T01:07:00.001-06:00

Waiting...
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Weirdest dream...

2009-11-12T09:59:00.001-06:00

I got "some" from an unlikely person. It was so good it made me break my guitar. But how come, in my brain, in real life, I was tryna calculate how I'd find the money to get another guitar by my lesson time on Monday...Lol

Anywho, it's Thursday! Yay!
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

I miss....

2009-11-10T10:20:00.000-06:00

the anonymity of communal bathrooms. If somebody goes in there and blows that em-effer up, unless you catch a glance of their shoes, they get off scotch free! When it's just you and another person, lol, well, if wasn't you there's only one other option...

It's cold.

2009-11-09T01:35:00.000-06:00

And I'm not even sure anymore...

Sign, please?
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Inhale. Exhale.

2009-11-02T23:29:00.001-06:00

So, I'm still absolutely positively lost.
Not sure what I want to do or be when I leave this school and yet, I know what I don't wanna do.
I have a lot of big things planned in the upcoming days, weeks, months, so who knows what will happen. I'm pouring my oil in a lot of different jars at the moment so I'll just keep pouring until there are no more jars and by then He'll show me the way.

Speaking of, I've started yet another project: I'm writing a novel. My Dad's been nagging me since frickin middle school, dropping hints and ish about me writing a book and being a famous author someday. IDK about famous author but realistically, I love writing. It's obvious with these 800+ posts on my frickin blog! lol

I didn't know but apparently, November is National Novel Writing Month and NaNoWriMo.org is encouraging all writers to push to write a 50,000 word novel by November 30. The key is to not get hung up on editing and fixing and just WRITE! I have a really good feeling about this. I'm trying to write something at least once a day. I have 143 words so far! I wonder if there's a widget I can put on here...

Anywho, join me, wish me luck, keep up with my progress and this may just be something big.

Every time life tries to make me see the negative, God reveals 50 things that are 100 times more positive. I'm just taking life a day at a time.

P.S-I'm not even gonna lie, today was a tough day....Hell this past weekend was a tough weekend, but to everybody I've been mad at, has been mat at me, or I have wronged or have wronged me: It's water under the bridge. Life's too short for all that!

Love, Peace, and 143! (A great number if I might add!)

Fuck.

2009-11-01T01:20:00.001-05:00

The "perfect" fucking ending to a "perfect" fucking night. Hint: it aint scrambled eggs!

PS-A big fucking thank you to everybody who contributed to making tonight such a "great" fucking night.

PSS-Roomates, which one of ya'll set the thermostat to Uganda in the summertime? It's hot as hell up in this bitch.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Speechless...

2009-10-31T22:14:00.001-05:00

And I just don't even feel like trying to find the words...I'm just done. I give up. Whenever we leave this McDonald's parking lot I'm just gonna be done. Like real talk...D.O.N.E.

But I appreciate it. I said I needed a sign and damnit I got it.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Well...

2009-10-31T13:27:00.000-05:00

Glad I've learned not to put much faith in certain things and/or people...
So what to do with my day?!

Just got some creative juices flowing on this here project so let's see what I can bring to life!

Then, maybe I'll press my hair...I feel like being spontaneous...But lemme check the weather forecast first...

Scenario...

2009-10-31T02:57:00.001-05:00

It's Friday night. Almost 3AM...I come home to find a dude in his boxers blowing chunks in my toilet. Come to find out, I KNOW this dude blowing chunks in my toilet...I'm not quite as mad but still quite disturbed. Take that ish outside bro!

On another note, I definitely played devil's advocate tonight in convincing somebody to walk on the wild side. It worked! Only one problem: Will I ever get the balls to take my own advice?! Anywho, go get em girl!

Well, I'm full of energy so idk what I'm about to do. Honestly, I needed to drop off some kids at the pool but I'm scared to go in there for the next 24 hrs...ugh...dilemma!!! Maybe I can sleep it off, only thing is, I'm not sleepy. Argh!!

Love, peace, and "Bro, is that you?!"

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

By the way...

2009-10-30T16:34:00.000-05:00

I'm back in the room and feeling better!

Maybe I'll start on my inspiration wall...
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Double Sigh

2009-10-30T15:14:00.000-05:00

Ever have one of those days where nothing in particular is wrong and yet everything isn't completely right?
It's one of those days again and I hate when they come. Is it the weather? IDK.

I just feel like I'm detached from life right now. I can't find my groove. I can't muster the energy to be me and enjoy life.

Every day, I grow farther and farther away from people. People who, I guess, were never meant to be close anyways.

Every day, I'm so out of control of my life, and my time, and my emotions. They just do whatever they want without waiting for my approval.

I'm a slave. A slave to things that I have no control to rid myself of currently. So I'm stuck.

I've been getting sleep lately. A lot more than usual, however when I wake up from that sleep, I have to go back to living a life that doesn't give a damn about how I feel and what I want.

I NEVER wanted to spend a day living a life where there's no time for me to do what it is that I want to do.

I've come to the conclusion that college is much too time consuming. College, and everything that come's along with it, that is. Once I graduate, I really don't think I'll ever find myself in a daily classroom routine ever again in life. Even back when I was in high school I knew that college wasn't for me. Sure, it has more freedom than high school, but look at where I'm at now. With less freedom and free time than I had in high school. I can't function like this. There's a way out. God knows my heart. He knows his child is going PLUM CRAZY in this rat race...I'm not a rat...I have more in store for me.

I keep asking for that ray of sun to peep through the clouds but maybe it's meant for me to be my own ray of sun. I just can't even find time to console myself.

Sitting here at Panera, I'm not sure if the "alone in a room full of people" feeling is good or bad.

Soon, I'll be starting a project. Not really sure if it'll be music, or just a collection of poems/prose, but this is something that I want to do by myself for myself. Time to spend more time making me happy.

I know these people think I'm over in this corner going through something...pause, I am going through something...As in, I was in it, but now I'm on my way through it.

Soon, I'll be out...

Guy moment...

2009-10-26T00:47:00.001-05:00

I'm sorry but, I just really have to keep it real on tonight. So, in advance, don't be alarmed by what you read...

Ok, so I have a lot of guy friends who confide in me and give me an opportunity to see how guys think and function and it's seriously rubbing off on me. I have a predicament.

You know how guys know the kind of girl they want to be their future wife/take home to meet the parents/settle down and put their game on the shelf for...And then there's the girl who's cute, tolerable personality, but would probably just make a really good *ahem* lay...

So right now, I'm looking for Guy #1...i'm really tryna get in that stage where everything in life is falling into place. I'm tryna graduate, figure out a career, settle into whatever city I choose to go to and start life. You know, grown up ish. Aaaaand, I would like for somebody to share that with me however, I can't seem to find anybody just really even CLOSE to my equal and heading in the same direction with life that I am.

On the other hand, the qualifications to be Guy #2 are a lot less restrictive. All you need is a nice face, some potential, and an open mind...lol...And I actually have my eye on somebody...however, if he were to be my Guy #2, and for some reason he didnt meet my expectations, the friendship would probably slowly cease to exist. And that would suck...or would it? See, the thing about this potential Guy #2 that sucks is that I've already mentally weighed the pros and cons with him and discovered that where he is in life right now he's nowhere close to Guy #1 status. So should I leave him where he is or try to see if he can fill another position?

IDk...But something's gotta give, and soon! The temperature is dropping everyday...Cuddling season is upon us and I need SOMETHING by February 14, be it Guy #1 or #2...Hell, I just need a guy! We can work out all them other intricacies later...

But for the record, I'm leaning towards a Guy #2...lmao

Wow...

2009-10-25T01:19:00.001-05:00

So I look around and I notice that I seem to have caught the "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" syndrome. However, the real question is, is it meant for me to be a bride? The older I get and the more I discover about myself, I'm not so sure that's the lifestyle for me. Sure, as a woman there's always that "white picket fence, 2.5 kids + a dog, sitting in our rocking chairs at the nursing home when we're 90" fantasy but I mean, realistically, I'm getting more and more scared that maybe that's not me...

Maybe I'll move to Italy with a little dog, a gay male companion, and have rendezvous with the hot Italian paper boy and be content with life...lol...That actually doesn't sound like a bad idea...

Anywho, Blogger, I miss you. Truly, I do. We've got this history that I could never turn my back on...Twitter can have all that superficial stuff but you, boo...you got my heart.

Love, peace, & until we meet again...
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Someday...

2009-10-23T21:52:00.001-05:00

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Umm, I'm sorry, but...

2009-10-23T00:52:00.001-05:00

Any guy that's in your room after a certain hour that ISN'T your boyfriend is a problem...

I'm just sayin...
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Today...

2009-10-22T03:57:00.001-05:00

Well, tonight rather, has been a long journey through so many emotions. I'm just glad I made it out without killing somebody. Lol. And I managed to stay true to myself and to the standards that I've set personally for myself.

I can go to sleep tonight and rest peacefully. I love life. Regardless of all the crap, stress, bullshit, funny acting people, shadiness, foolishness, drama, apathy...I love life.

I'll be damned if I let a mother-effer make me NOT enjoy the day that the Lord made just for me.

Life's too short. Baby, if ya'll wanna run life in circles go ahead. I'm going straight...Straight to the top.

Goodnight Bleeps!

Tomorrow starts my proverb a day regimen!

Ambition.

2009-10-20T16:13:00.001-05:00

I feel sorry for these ppl anticipating graduation and getting a 9-to-5 just to live paycheck to paycheck.
I. Want. More.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Realization...

2009-10-19T21:16:00.002-05:00

There's no problem with seeking help. The problem lies with seeking help from the wrong people.

It's NOT ok to trust no one. It IS ok to trust few.

Dori T's tools to the top...forthcoming...

Lookin up at the stars....

2009-10-19T20:59:00.000-05:00

I really need to get this hair coloring on and poppin but I'm having a deep convo with a kindred spirit.

He doesn't know it but his star brightens my sky.

"Think Positive"

2009-10-19T14:04:00.001-05:00

Coming soon...
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The more I let go...

2009-10-16T23:43:00.001-05:00

The more new possibilities I see...

Wanna know how you know you're "that bitch"?

2009-10-09T02:47:00.001-05:00

When you start writing a 3 page paper at 8 o'clock in the morning that's due at 11:20am, not even finish the reading the article that you are summarizing, not do even an ounce of a proofread other than a quick spell check before printing and yet, receive an email from the teacher at 1 in the morning telling you how excellent your paper was and asking could she print it off to show the class. Not to mention the past few tests and quizzes that you barely studied for and made A's and B's.

I'm not cocky. I'm really not. Because what I do, anybody can do. But honestly, I'm just happy I'm the bitch that's smart enough to do it. =)

Now let's get this weekend on the frickin road. I got goals to reach!

Fran-mothereffing-queill

2009-10-09T00:15:00.002-05:00

THIS is why she is and always will be my mothereffing down ass chick!!!

Strictly for Blogger

2009-10-08T08:39:00.001-05:00

Because such things shan't be broadcast on Twitter....

I've been really effin regular lately...If you know what I mean...

I know I've been pissin my roommate the hell off, but hey, it's a
natural bodily function. Everybody does it and if you say you don't do
it then you're a lying effing alien cuz aliens are the only things
that don't poop and that's because they're frickin aliens.

Love, Peace, and do you have enough fiber in your diet?

Life and Death

2009-10-06T17:19:00.001-05:00

"To look for thee,
Cry for thee,
Sigh for thee,
Under my breath,
To clasp but a shade
Where thy head hath been laid
It is death.
To long for thee,
Yearn for thee,
Burn for thee,
Sorrow and strife.
But to have thee,
And hold thee and fold thee,
It is life."

-Jessie Adelaide Middleton

2009-10-05T22:17:00.001-05:00

So I look around and see all the shyt that I have and one could easily
think that I have a full happy ass life but what people <I>don't</i>
know is that life is actually pretty effin empty. With all of the
things and people going on in my life right only about 5% of it is
important and only about 2% is something or someone that I actually
want there. Don't get me wrong. The 2% isn't a small number, by no
means is it small but I really don't think it's comprehendable (even
to me) the amount of things I have going on in life that make up the
other 98%.

This isn't one of those deep depressing moments that come occasionally
but this just occured at a time when for a brief second, I let the
facade go and actually looked all of my problems in the face and they
looked right back at me.

My dilemma: I'm a free spirit but I feel trapped doing and being
things I don't want to do and be.

I'm pretty sure that I never should've been a music ed major. I
should've stuck to Psychology and done a music minor, maybe.

Sitting on the Dock of the Bay is playing right now and Otis is
singing my life story. I want to cry but I'd hate to miss this light
turning green which, with every passing minute, seems more and more
unlikely to happen.

Now, Nora "Doesn't Know Why" and I don't either. I don't know too much
of anything anymore.

"I feel as empty as a drum..."

This is one of those movie moments where the sad girl is texting while
she drives and along comes another car and she doesn't stand a chance.
All of her hurt and worry is over. All gone. But luckily, this isn't a
movie. I'm home sweet home. Safe. Tomorrow is a new day and everything
will be better.

I just gotta make it through the night. Which is exactly why I'm
cleaning my room. The goal for the night is no tears. I can't make any
promises on that note but I can assure the universe that come
tomorrow, I'll be ok.

In my dream

2009-10-04T10:25:00.001-05:00

You listened.
You cared.
You showed emotion.
You held my hand.
You comforted me.
You made me feel special.

Everything you don't do in real life...

--
Sent from my mobile device

I am

2009-10-03T02:09:00.000-05:00

patiently awaiting the day when I'll have enough resolve to say "FUCK YOU"

I did it.

2009-10-01T08:58:00.000-05:00

I broke down and finally watched that Derrion Albert video. Even though it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, there's still a lump in my throat when I think about it. There's still that image of seeing his feet dragging the ground. And everyday we sit and worry about dumb shyt like who likes me, who hates me, what color shoes to wear, where to go for lunch and he can't even make anymore decisions like that.
It's hard to think that we serve a God who will take away a young man's life in such a way but He knows what he's doing and Mr. Albert's death served a purpose in millions of peoples' life. I pray that his family will have the strength to realize that they birthed an angel and his life-and death-was not in vain.

Time to do this homework and start my day.

Love, Peace, and God Bless.

Steady and silent wins the race...

2009-09-30T17:36:00.000-05:00

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

There are few things

2009-09-28T02:43:00.000-05:00

That can make me literally, physically shake.

This is one of them.

There has been a change of plans.

Lately, I've been receiving a lot of signs and they're all pointing towards one firm conclusion.

I need to go to bed.

Tomorrow starts a very big week.

Tomorrow...

2009-09-26T02:23:00.001-05:00

I'll be hitting up this tattoo shop, hopefully. Oh yeah!!!! I &hearts;
needles...=D well, at least needles with ink on em...

Oh yeah, almost forgot to mention, I'm BACK on Twitter...3rd time is
the charm right? Well I'm gonna try my best to have fun this time...if
u read my blog then you absolutely MUST follow me. Hopefully, Twitter
will catch those small moments that can't quite make it to the blog.
Still me, just in limited form.
@WowItsDoriTee
Tell a friend! And even though it's Saturday, #Followfriday me...I'm
worth it, lol.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Sometimes...

2009-09-25T11:44:00.000-05:00

isn't it just nice to know you were thought of?

Currently Bumpin:

2009-09-25T09:38:00.002-05:00

Get Lifted by John Legend. One of the BEST albums of my time. Brings
back soooo many memories. Ahhh, I could listen to this all day but
unfortunately, I got some thangs to tend to. I've been surprisingly
productive this morn. Kinda like the calm before the storm, literally
and figuratively. Hitting the A later this evening and who knows what
fun, foolishness, and tomfoolery awaits. The 3 Amigos are touching
down once again. But 10 times better.

Oh shyt. I just parked and then So High comes on...Wow, this used to
be "our" song...you always used to make me sing it to you before you
went to sleep...Wooow...

And on that note, -I'm getting out this damn car and moving on with
life...Symbolic? Yes.
Time to start my day.

PS-God, can the future hubby PLEASE be in Atlanta? Just wondering, Big Guy...Y know, seeing that it's cuddlin season and all...lol

--
Sent from my mobile device

Hmmm....

2009-09-23T23:19:00.000-05:00

Should I be offended that one of my white friends is growing cotton on her farm in Farmville on Facebook and I was just sent a notification to come and help her clear weeds from her cotton field?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!

On another note, I hate when people come at you with ulterior motives. Don't come and write on my wall and ask me how I've been and say you miss me and then when i write back sayin i miss you too and ask how you've been you wanna come at me on some "So yeah, I hear you been sneaking in town without telling nobody." First and fore-motherfucking-mostly, we aint even just COOL like that. Secondly, maybe there were some circumstances that YOUR ASS was unaware of that made me unable to come visit anybody other than my dad, stepmom, mom, and JESUS! Thirdly, and lastly, if you were meant to know I was in town, TRUST you would have known! Can we not be petty please? And if that's your way of sparking convo then you need to work on your damn conversational skills cuz you SUCK! Argh...ur my play bruh-daddy but the operative word is "play"...as in not real...as in, chill out and get off my nuts playa!

That felt good. I haven't angry blogged in a good little while!

It's a sad feeling

2009-09-22T02:27:00.001-05:00

To be in a place you don't want to be but can't get out.

What used to be my sanctuary is now my cage.

I keep putting it off, but tomorrow, I have to call my parents. A move
is urgent and necessary. I can't live like this.

The kitchen is barbaric. Gnats are flying around freely. The sink is
dirty. Dirty pltes are piled inside with solid food particles still on
them. It's sad when I know that you had some kind of pasta with
onions, beef, and a creamy sauce.

I hate to cry and then get my way but I really can't visualize myself
describing all of the hell I'm living in without choking up.

This aint where I'm supposed to be.

Of course I need to pray and ask God for specific instruction but
right now, I'm hoping we're on the same page.

Eff shopping. Eff new gadgets. Eff tattoos. Eff a new stereo for my
car. I'll give damn near every cent I got to get out of here.

--
Sent from my mobile device

OK,

2009-09-20T01:27:00.001-05:00

I'm really starting to feel like I live with a crack head. I need to call the parents like tomorrow and explain to them this situation...I gotta get the eff up out of here. Like NOW!!!

Ok, I admit:

2009-09-20T00:47:00.001-05:00

I'm a hater.

There are some things and people that just really irk me...I try to not be irked but it doesn't work so yeah...

To quote the Plain-White Tees "Hate is a strong word, but I really really really don't like you"

Oooooh sidenote, I was on national television today singing all operatic and shyt. I don't get caught up in shyt like that but I really had fun. Got my make-up done professionally and shyt -even though I thought what I had done was fine- so yeah...coming to a tv near you will be...ME!!! The show is broadcast in like 137 countries or to 137 million people or hell, something involving the number 137 and a lot of people. So yeah, I'm happy and excited. Yet another thing for my mom to tell everybody about...like 3rd Image...lol. Sorry, not everyone is familiar with 3rd Image...

Anywho, I'm bout to shower and snuggle up in this good ole TSU hoodie to keep me warm in spite of this damn air vent pointed at my bed and call it a night. I'm performing in the AM. Can't wait!
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

I think

2009-09-20T00:32:00.002-05:00

I just got hit on by a campus police officer...not a hundred percent sure tho...but is it wrong that he kinda looked like a shorter, cuter, younger Ving Rhames? I like a man in uniform. Lol...

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Rain

2009-09-17T02:06:00.001-05:00

I love when it rains incessantly.
Like the earth thirsts to be renewed
And the sky is giving all it's got
Doing the best it can do.
I want to find a puddle
And lie flat across its core
Because I too thirst to be rid of things
That I don't need anymore
I need to be refreshed
So that I can bloom and grow
With each and every rain drop
I let something go
Some things are loosed for better
Some things will never return
I release the tests and trials
But I keep the lessons learned
I get up from the puddle
To look back at where I just laid
And I see everything I leave
Exactly where it will stay
The puddle will dry and disappear
And turn back to into concrete
I will forget it was ever there
Or recall which spot under my feet
I will trudge over it every day
Better and yet the same
Until I find my next puddle
The next time it rains...

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

So apparently,

2009-09-17T01:13:00.001-05:00

I'm real particular. And word gets around about me being that way.
Me and the smoker roommate had yet ANOTHER run-in about her smoking in the apartment.

Am I WRONG for asking her not to smoke in her room which is right next to mine and results in me smelling the smoke in MY room? Apparently, that makes me particular. Apparently, she already could tell we were gonna have some disagreements from the jump.

Anyways, I feel as if this is something that I just am not wrong on. This is my living space just as it is hers and just as I ask her to compromise by not smoking in here, we all are making compromises. Hers just happens to be something that she feels she can't function without doing. I wish I didn't always have to be the roommate with grievances but damn, I woulda preferred Rona's loud talkin ass over this chick. And then she had the audacity to say she'd TRY to not smoke in here. BITCH this shyt aint optional. Either you stop smokin in this damn apartment or you move. And I've come to you TWICE asking you not to do it, came and told you to your face, when I easily could've just ran over to Mrs. Bass' office and filed a complaint behind your back.
This is the second time this week where I bend over backwards to do the right, decent thing and it just doesn't get done what I need for it to. If I was dirty, or even just rude then a whole bunch of folks would have me on their hit list. Ugh, am I scared, no but I'm just really too old and too busy for this mess.

I've already wasted too much energy and time on this subject. I'll pray about and let the Big Guy handle it. I'm tryna wake up and be at this pool in the morning!!!

Love, peace, and "you know I can smell that through the wall, right?"
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Check this out...

2009-09-14T22:24:00.001-05:00

Just because they can make you smile and/or laugh doesn't mean they're your soul mate.

A clown can make you laugh but at the end of the day it's still what? A CLOWN!!!
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

I'm trying to...

2009-09-12T02:13:00.000-05:00

Shake the seemingly unshakable...

Playing it cool is my forte' but damnit I can't even deny the way my head is swimming...

I just really, really don't know which way is up or down with this whole thing.

Problems that were plaguing me last week, month, YEAR are still here. Ugh, this isn't right. I want to move on. I really do. But it won't let me and I don't know why...

I need some divine intervention. Or at least a clear, easily discernible clue or hint in the right direction...

Please, God?
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Vision...

2009-09-08T02:23:00.000-05:00

I had visualized in my head, a really good song the other night as i was drifting away to sleep. I was too lazy to get up and jot it down so I lost it. And I'm sad. Because knowin the way my brain is, I may never see it again.

Anywho, I have the new name for my blog. I'm switching it up once again. I guess I'll releaseit once I dig up a new theme and whatnot...ugh...whenever I have time...Life's getting busy. I just need ot keep up.

P.S.-A light at the end of a tunnel, of sorts. I'm just gonna do what I need to do, pray about it, adn if it's meant to be it'll be.

Starting this new diet/workout plan tomorrow. mmmm, excitement. But I gotta go to sleep now. I got a 6:30 workout to make!

TOO-DLEZ!!!!!

Argh...

2009-09-07T09:54:00.000-05:00

My ankle feels broke-ish...

I apologize

2009-09-07T09:45:00.001-05:00

For being rude, cold-hearted, whatever but these walls are THIN. I don't wanna hear about your relationship problems!!! Matter of fact, I don't even know you. All I know is your voice sounds like you have cold 24/7, you've been having slumber parties in my roommates room all weekend, and you have a boyfriend that doesn't care about your feelings....

Lol at roommie over there being Dr. Phil....rotflmbo!

I'm mad this mess woke me up but it's kinda funny. I guess life's problems can be kinda funny when they're not happening to you.

Aye, who got a fruit cup?!?!?! I'ze howngries!

Ok, time to work...hey, where are my earphones?
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Post-Church reflections...

2009-09-06T20:11:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I wonder if those straight-laced by the book Christians are like that by force or by choice. As in, "just because I was a straight up heathen when I was in the world, I now have to be a super, uber-Christian in order to avoid setting off even the smallest trigger."

I almost wonder if that's how I need to be...it's SO EASY to fall off, and ultimately, I want to be a good Christian, it's just that getting there and staying there is SO HARD.

In the past, I've criticized friends and people who have "breakthroughs" every Sunday. Like, ummm, didn't you change your life <I>last<\I> Sunday. But now I get it. It's ongoing. It's a struggle. And somedays I wonder if I can do it, or should do it. But I will.

Today, I'm starting once again with my blog as my witness and a God who loves me endlessly and unconditionally.

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Oh my effing gosh....

2009-09-06T00:37:00.003-05:00

So one of my roommates likes to be a fuckin popsicle and have the air on 60 all damn day long and now, my knees are aching and I think that's why...

Ummm, you will NOT give me premature arthritis...Now I know I'm never hardly here but damnit I'll call a roommate meeting if necessary...

P.S.-Had fun at the game.

P.S.S.-Bitch ass baby daddies need NOT try to say hello to me. You're lucky I had the self-restraint mustered to ignore your ass...Looking back, I should've pushed you down the stairs but that would've caused a scene...

Anywho, I'm debating, sleep or work?

Hmmm...IDK

P.S.-

2009-09-02T02:31:00.003-05:00

Definitely pissed at all of the motherfuckers spending all their time on Twitter and neglecting Blogger...

Blogger = Faithful boo
Twitter = Jump-off

If there was a Cheaters Web Edition, ya'll would be caught red-handed...
Twitter is your damn Homepage and Blogger ain't even saved in the bookmarks no more...

Follower hungry ass mofos...

Heauxs!!!!! Or maybe I should say, Twhoes!!!!!!

Leaving my mark...

2009-09-02T02:11:00.004-05:00

I gotta make this quick because it's 2:11 and I have to wake up at 6:15, no later than 6:45.

As the year is starting I'm realizing more and more how close I am to graduating. I also realize more and more that my natural instinct to lead is now refusing to stay quiet, and how, as a result, I'm having a strong, strong urge to leave my mark somewhere. Anywhere. On my organizations, my teachers, my peers, my department, and maybe even in a small way, my university. No, I don't everybody to know my name because I'm the flyest chick in the Cafe. I want people to say, "I remember when Dorian Townsend was here because that was the year that X,Y, and Z changed for the better. She was a part of A, B, C during the year when everybody came together and did this, that, and the other." All my life, I've been a face in the crowd and I was cool with that even though I knew darn well that I had ideas and gifts that were as good as or better than those who broke out of the crowd and got recognized. Regardless of anybody who says differently, it feels good to be recognized and applauded for your achievements. Ultimately, my goal isn't to have a water fountain named after me because I got rid of the gnats in the basement bathroom or get the band room renamed after me because I found a way to keep '56 from stumbling in and harassing any and everybody in the music building, I just want to make a change. I want those who come after me to be able to enjoy the education that they receive and get the most out of their college experience, that is those who actually make it to college because, let's face it, college is becoming harder and harder to get into. Even after everything I've gone through I love my college, and I love all of those who I've shared it with other the years who've made my experience as great a journey as it's been and I want the future generations to have even better so they can do even better.

I hate to get all "Change the World-y" but I'm really starting to think outside of myself. It's a part of growing up and I'm growing. Faster than I thought I would but growing nonetheless...

Can't really think of a snazzy poignant ending soooooo....End.

Hmmm...

2009-08-31T00:36:00.004-05:00

Well today, I was struck with a thought or maybe more of a realization: this semester, blogging won't be my main priority. Probably not even in my top 3...or 5...

In the past, I would put off writing a paper, or practicing, or studying just to sit at my laptop and type up a blog post for an hour.

That's not normal!

As much as I enjoy blogging and all, it is time consuming.

So for a while, I may not be here as frequently as we're all used to but when I do write something I'll try my best to not only make sure that it not only says everything that I feel it needs to, but that it also doesn't go on forever and ever. And hopefully the fact that I can blog from my phone easier will help to get out those quickie thoughts, too.

So yeah, will that being said, I have to get to work on some long overdue business...

Work now, play later...

Currently:

2009-08-31T00:07:00.005-05:00

listening to a song I heard at church today and reflecting.

I heard something today that struck me and I knew it was for me...

"A man who findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor from the Lord."

Operative word of the phrase: Findeth. As in the man is the one seeking, not the woman.

And all these years I've been foolish enough to think that God would point me to "him" and yet all these years God's been pointing him to me.

My only task is to make sure that I'm where I need to be so that when I'm pointed out, everything will be in order...

So on that note, let me continue to get my life in order...

Next post....

Oh yeah, the song I was listening to: It Shall Come to Pass by Hezekiah Walker.

The good thing about having a loud ass roommate?

2009-08-29T13:38:00.002-05:00

You can hear her when she 's telling her friend that she wants to move out!
YESSSS....

Ok, soooooo,

2009-08-29T12:44:00.003-05:00

I love Three 6 Mafia as much as the next but don't nobody wanna hear you rappin all up in through this apt...

Ya'll I really just don't know about this semester.

Roommate A seems decent but um, we share a bathroom and I have yet to see ANY signs of anybody occupying that bathroom other than myself. Not even so much as a bar of soap...That makes me nervous...

Roommate D is like last year's roommate D: quiet, barely realize she's here...

Roommate C...hmmm...there's always something about roommate C...She's ummm, rough. She smokes. She has shady lookin friends who left the apartment smelling like weed and black and milds long affter they left, and she likes to listen to Three 6 and Keyshia Cole early in the morning AND sing along...loudly...

We haven't had a roommate meeting yet but I guess I'll just put all of my pet peeves out on the table and hopefully we wont have any problems...

I HATE living with people.

Oh, and they love this air on full blast...ugh...no bueno.

Let's make this quick...

2009-08-29T03:20:00.002-05:00

So it seems as if the time has come to have responsibilities and take leadership. I can't run anymore...

The thing is, I don't want to run. I'm ready. I can see myself being successful, now I just have to do it.

I can do this. It's gonna be hard. It's gonna take work, but I can do this.

P.S.-I just sat up here and ate waaaaay too much Special K Red Berries. Addicted is an understatement.

Anywho, time to start thinking of my master plan then, sleep.

Toodles.

Oh yeah,

2009-08-28T00:17:00.001-05:00

Did I forget to tell you? I haven't slept in over 24 hours!
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

What have I gotten myself into?

2009-08-28T00:14:00.001-05:00

Me and the ex just finished a 5 hour text-a-thon. All through the shtupid ass stepshow and back home through unpacking. We reminisced, asked "what ifs," and just talked like old times.

Only thing is, these aren't old times. You've got a girlfriend now. And yeah, you live two hours away now and asked me to come visit, and yeah, any other time I would have had my happy ass there in an hour and 15 but I didn't. I'm a strong believer in karma. And I'll be damned if I was in her shoes and my boo was having sleepovers with their ex.

It's still there. All of it. Despite all of the horrible things we've said to try to hurt each other. I like to think that the exes that you still are friends with and talk to and genuinely continue to care about their health and well-being are the ones that were real. Love conquers all.

So as much as I'd love to be your babee again, I can't let you do that to your girl. Nope, cuz I've been on her end and wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. If we're meant to be we'll be but until we find out, "tomorrow?"

P.S.-August 27 must be official "talk to your ex day" cause Mr. Ordinary People hit me up on facebook. Now if Mr. Hayes and Phan-dizzle call me tomorrow I'm just gone sit in my closet, shut the door, and laugh my ass off...
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Kfiiurebdjtgdgiewjdfgdyuisoktibgsd

2009-08-27T16:43:00.001-05:00

Sleep sleep sleep sleep
Nap nap nap nap
Zzz zzz zzz zzz

*flatline*
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

It's 3:47 AM...

2009-08-27T03:47:00.003-05:00

Do you know where your child is?

J/K...haha...I'm wide awake!

Truck is just about loaded...Just gotta pack up my bathroom, clean my bathroom and the guest room, hop in the shower and I'm outtie!

So, it's here...School year 2009-2010 that is...

Kinda geeked, kinda nervous, but nonetheless, ready.

My school is incompetent as hell. And even if they get a little better in one area they'll stiff eff you over in another...

Did I mention I'm back on skype? dori.tee
Oh, and yahoo msgr: wowitsdoritee.
And twitter! My poor, neglected, empty twitter: wowitsdoritee
And I have blackberry msgr now too but I don't know anybody on there and I don't feel like getting up to get my phone to find the pin so yeah, ask me later.

Irony: I was just pulling my foot backwards to make it pop and ended up popping the hand that i was pulling it with...lol...And still havent popped my foot yet and it's bothering me...

Today, I did something bad...I wore leggings as pants! but it wasn't the see-through kind. They were black. Opaque. My shirt came down past my hoo ha, and i have a nice-shaped butt and legs so it wasn't breaking the rules...=)

Umm, what else...

Remember: Email Dr. Todd back and take those papers to the Financial Aid Office...Matter of fact, I'm gonna take those papers to Financial Aid first...maybe...

Ummm, soooo my senior recital is in the spring...WTF!!!!

Gotta make an appt at somebdoy's institution of body art...You already know! And I'm finally gotta get a tatt for my cousin. It took me a while to figure out what but I'm glad I waited. I love the idea...

Ummm...What else?

I'm tryna get out all of this extra energy as quickly as possible so that I can hurry up and finish doin the rest of this stuff and hit the road.

Oh em gee...my Frankie's not gonna be back =( That absolutely positively sucks!!!! You ever have a twin that wasn't your twin, but was your twin...Well yeah, that's Frankie...Oh yeah, Reminder: make copies of the pics and distribute them!

Gonna be doing a lot of road-tripping this semester, excited...

Not gonna be a band stalker this fall like last year...lol...it was fun but yeah, i have a life and I don't need people to think otherwise...But I'm gonna miss the BK's...They're gonna be so effing busy all the time...and stinky...lol

Ok, well it's 4:01...Go time!

P.S.-Shoutout to my special helper tomorrow that's gonna help me get all this stuff back up those 3 flights of steps even though I think he just wants the free Mickey D's, lol!

Anywho, no spell checking this one folks. If i didn't catch it when I typed it then it's not getting caught...At least not right now. Knowing me I'll go back and re-read this tomorrow and make the corrections...And then I'll delete this little paragraph...And you'll never know it existed...lol...muahahahahaha...

Definitely need to put all this energy towards packing...

P.S.S.-I got some hella good music to put in rotation AND two new podcats of This American Life!!! Oh yeah! *happy dances* *clicks Publish Post* *Climbs off the bed and finishes packing*

WHY

2009-08-26T16:55:00.003-05:00

is my great uncle on Bookface. Great as in, brother of my grandmother (even though he's great in the other sense of the word too.

This is my same great-uncle who graduated from MY college in the year 1955 (I found his pic in the old yearbook archives). I don't feel like doing math but you can calculate how old that makes him.

Who keeps letting this happen. I wish I could find the first ass to invite his or her mom to facebook and dropkick them in the throat...

I'm happy that older people are embracing technology, I really am, but do you know how freakin long it took me to adult proof my facebook?!?!

P.S.-I think my mom might get a Facebook in the near future; she's been toying around with the idea because her BFF is on there but for me, it's just gonna be another form of communication for my mother to complain that I ignore her on...I can already see it now: Her inbox is full of little sweet "I love you, hope you're having a good day" messages from me, and yet she doesn't know how to check her inbox so she fusses at me and says I never talk to her on facebook...LOL...It could make for some interesting blogging tho...Adults and technology can be funny...

Prime example:

I have a serious problem!

2009-08-26T14:02:00.004-05:00

When I have something really important to do, I can literally find ANYTHING UNDER THE SUN to do instead.

I should be packing now but I literally have the urge to do anything other than pack. I'd rather get a microscope and discover all of the different kinds of carpet fibers in my house instead of frickin packing...

I just about have most of my stuff in the guest room (where I've been living) packed but I still have to pack up my bathroom and some of the things in my bedroom...Not to mention loading, oh and my most favoritest part: rolling up all my clothes into tight little cylindrical-shaped orbs of textile HELL...

Can I fast forward. Please?

I'm about to go to frickin Bed, Bath, and Beyond and get some of those vacuum sealing bags...I refuse to load my truck with suitcases/laundry baskets/garbage bags full of clothes...it just AINT. GONNA. WORK.

I bid thee adieu.

Brace yourself:

2009-08-26T02:39:00.003-05:00

I'm about to change your life...Thank me later =)

P.S.-I love eating bananas a million times more after seeing this, lol.

Sigh

2009-08-25T05:39:00.001-05:00

Sleep is not my friend tonight.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Sometimes...

2009-08-24T20:48:00.001-05:00

Deep, deep down, I wish we would've gotten together back then. Then, I wouldn't have gone and gotten all these tattoos and could be the trophy girl for you that she is...

And then I come to my senses and realize that's not the life for me...

Lol.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Funniest thing I heard all week...

2009-08-24T03:25:00.001-05:00

So I'm lookin at my friend's profile pics and in one of them she's loading a clip into a gun (which is weird b/c her ass is the farthest thing from a damn thug!)

Anywho, some random dude comments "Wtf!!! Is that a memphis communication device?"

And I lol'd my ass off...

Goodnight folks!

New Discovery...

2009-08-24T01:53:00.003-05:00

Scenario: So I'm in the hotel room at the sink deep conditioning my hair and the TV's on Seattle's Public Broadcast Station (PBS) and so I'm hearing somebody singing and the hook of the song is "you got a lot of money but you can't afford the freeway." Catchy. As I'm silently angry that somebody else thought of yet another catchy ass lyric before I could, I go over to the TV to see who's singing. Some long-haired blonde chick with a guitar...I thought maybe it was k.d. lang (who I coulda sworn had long blonde hair but apparently she has short brown hair, lol. Thanks wikipedia). Anywho, the TV still didn't tell who the artist was, it was a live concert. So I kept it on that channel and went back to listening and doing my hair. So song after song is really good and I'm like, who is this woman and why have I never heard of her? So once the conditioner is setting I get on the laptop and do a Google search for the lyrics. Artist: Aimee Mann, Song: Freeway.

So in my usual fashion, I look her up on Ares and just start clicking every damn song I see and I'm pleasantly surprised...I'm kinda mad that other than her name sounding slightly familiar, I've known nothing about her music until that day...

Anywho, here's a few faves:
Freeway-a catchy little ditty. Kinda reminds me of Sheryl Crow (EEEEEota!)
The Scientist-cover of the great song by Coldplay.
Little Tornado- My FAVE. I listen to this song like 8 times a day...

And I threw in Aida by Sara McLachlan b/c I heard it on vacay too and I haven't heard that song since 1990 somethin...love it!

New Direction...

2009-08-23T17:44:00.002-05:00

in a search for a specific post, I went and perused through some older posts and I noticed a pattern: Bitching, whining, comedy, sadness, bitching, whining, comedy, optimisism, bitching, whining, comedy, anger, etc...I need to redo some things...Hopefully inspiration'll hit me sometime soon.

Inspiration, if you can hear me, please do me a favor and knock me flat on my ass. Man up. Don't be a punk. I can handle it.

WHY

2009-08-23T13:57:00.001-05:00

do so many of my friends have fine little brothers...
Like they just popped up out of nowhere?!
Of course they didn't just "pop up", though. They've been there all along I just remember back in the day they were so lame, and nerdy, and awkward...
But now...
Hmm...

Sometimes,

2009-08-23T01:59:00.002-05:00

even when you know he's not the one for you or even remotely close, somebody better has to come along to make you really see it...

I need my somebody better. Really soon. Like now. Because this is wearing me thin...

I feel it coming...

2009-08-23T00:14:00.003-05:00

I need to have a talk with somebody. And apologize. I don't like holding grudges. Especially when they were so dumb that I don't remember what the root of the problem was. And guess what else? I'm at fault. And I know it. So yeah, hopefully the words will come at the right time...Life's too short, ya know...

This here blog does a lot of things, could even be used as some sort of cop out, or considered the "easy way" but no, I don't even wanna go that route...This needs to be on the up and up...Just give me time, I'm not good at these things.

=-/

It just wont stop!!!!!!

2009-08-22T21:42:00.003-05:00

Step Moms is TRIPPING!!!!!! I think she topped the mice story on this one. Well maybe not topped but she got REALLLLLLL CLOSE!!!!

For those who weren't present for the mice story here's a back track. "Introducing: The 'Rent's"

Anywho, we just got home about 20 mins ago and IDK why, but my mustard pashmina was hanging on the closet door in the guest room and I remembered that I needed to wash it before I packed it up for school. So I proceed to hand wash it in the sink right quick and throw it in the dryer. Step Moms i guess was on the other side of the house so she comes back through the den and says "What's in the dryer?" cuz I guess she heard the rumbling. I answer "My scarf, I just threw it in there." She says, "Oh, cause I thought you left something in the dryer before we left."

MA'AM, it is August 22nd. We left this house the night of August 13th. We've had that same damn dryer for IDK how long. When has it EVER had a setting to make it stay on for TEN DAMN DAYS?!?!?!?!

All I could do was shake my head and proceed to Blogger.com to share this before I forgot it...

Anyways...I'm home...for a limited time only, though. Next stop: NASHVEGAS!!!! Too bad I can't remember what day my Dr's appointment is that I'm supposed to be coming back early for...

Wtf?!

2009-08-22T19:47:00.001-05:00

I don't wanna eat at no damn Houston's I wanna go home! I been gone for a long ass time and ya'll take my ass hostage and force me to dine before I can get back to my bed (well, the bed in the guestroom)? This is ridiculous. And then I clearly asked questions and ya'll just gave me the dumb look and acted like ya'll ain't hear me. This is bull!!!!
I'm tired...
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Socks!

2009-08-22T14:36:00.001-05:00

Why in the hayle do I not have any more anklet socks?! So now I'm forced to wear these damn ankle tube socks and go up in this airport with these khaki cargo shorts on lookin like a damn camp counselor! Fml...and I look so cute today too...
Boarding the plane. We'll chit chat later.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Screaming & Silent

Update:

*drumroll*

Truth:

Game Plan:

I could be my first and greatest success story...

Consistency...

Ummm...

Dorian-0 Rain-1

All I want

So juvenile...

Question.

Thinking & Driving

Personal Space:

Real Talk

Frazzled

No sun.

Yeah,

Damn

The more I live, the more I realize:

I'm not used to this!

It's 2009

Relief

Soooo...

"Progress"

Yesterday was

I might not be able to bring you up

Just

Weirdest dream...

I miss....

It's cold.

Inhale. Exhale.

Fuck.

Speechless...

Well...

Scenario...

By the way...

*Double Sigh*

Guy moment...

Wow...

Someday...

Umm, I'm sorry, but...

Today...

Ambition.

Realization...

Lookin up at the stars....

"Think Positive"

The more I let go...

Wanna know how you know you're "that bitch"?

Fran-mothereffing-queill

Strictly for Blogger

Life and Death

In my dream

I am

I did it.

Steady and silent wins the race...

There are few things

Tomorrow...

Sometimes...

Currently Bumpin:

Hmmm....

It's a sad feeling

OK,

Ok, I admit:

I think

Rain

So apparently,

Check this out...

I'm trying to...

Vision...

Argh...

I apologize

Post-Church reflections...

Oh my effing gosh....

P.S.-

Leaving my mark...

Hmmm...

Currently:

The good thing about having a loud ass roommate?

Ok, soooooo,

drumroll

Double Sigh

Sigh